Tacrolimus as an invitation... or, Two women in a waiting room.

On Monday this week I went to MGH Danvers to have labs drawn as I do every Monday. This week I went later than usual and there were a lot more people there than the prior weeks when I arrived much earlier. As I checked in the clerk was talking to herself, asking which tests I needed or didn't need. She seemed to be assuming they wouldn't need the Tacrolimus test. I mentioned that they specifically asked me not to take my Tacrolimus and therefore I would assume they want the Tacrolimus test. FYI, Tacrolimus is one of my anti rejection medications.

The clerk then told me I could go sit down. I turned to the left side of the room and could see that every seat was filled. I also noticed this woman looking back over her shoulder towards me and smiling, almost as if she recognized me. I turned back towards the right side of the room and saw that there were several seats available, so I took a seat on that side. Then the woman got up from her seat and came over and sat next to me. She then spoke to me and said "when was your transplant?" I told her it was on October 22nd and I must have had a slightly befuddled look on my face because she then mentioned that she knew I had a kidney transplant because of the Tacrolimus. Then a woman standing off to my right said "we all know about the Tacrolimus." Then she told us her husband had a kidney transplant too and that he was also on the Tacrolimus.

The woman sitting next to me continued to chat with me, asking about some of the experiences I've had. Specifically she was wondering if my emotions have been catching me off guard. And they sometimes do. There are specific moments when I can find myself on the verge of an emotional outburst. I can't even ponder "The Hour I Never Had With Annie" without my eyes swelling up with tears and my throat choking up. I put that in quotes and capitalized every word because it's an entry into this journal that I haven't been able to write yet because it's too emotional. No one knows about this except me and my social worker, but perhaps someday I'll be able to write about it.

Meanwhile my experience with the two women in the waiting room made me realize I'm part of a unique club. I've had an organ transplant and so have they or someone they love. And I guess whenever we find each other out in public we cluster and talk about our experiences. I'm kind of a lone wolf most of the time, but I did appreciate these women, particularly the one who had her transplant last year, opening up to me and including me in their impromptu group meeting. If I'm being honest (and I always am) I'm looking forward to the next time something like this happens, though my lone wolf persona means that they'll have to approach me... I'm not comfortable approaching folks I don't know and opening up to them.